Portraits of then and now
June 02, 2020
Do you remember the kind of person you were a few years ago?
I'll tell you mine through portraits of then and now.
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| 2020 me, after 3 years I dedicated to improving and realizing my power |
A few years ago, a shy girl decided to have a shoot wearing nothing but a white t-shirt and black cycling shorts--no bra. She found it daring. She never liked taking pictures and hated posing for a camera (and let's just say, I still do). But she felt within a spontaneous and random moment during what seemed like a difficult 2017, that she had something in her. A certain fire burning inside her that somehow made her feel she wants to be her real true self.
During these times, some three years back, she was still experiencing fresh wounds from pain she experienced. She was still on a shell after the humiliation and guilt, yet she was well on her way to being in a better place. If only she knew what happened some three years later. I guess she'd be proud.
I look back at these photos, when I considered them just a product of boredom, and saw how there's still strength in this girl who still decided to march through the trials and was about to start on that journey. The strong spirit has always been in her eyes. It will take sunlight, rain, and so much more for it to bloom out of her.
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| 2017: She's on her way to obtaining the power she's always had in her |
I look back at these photos, when I considered them just a product of boredom, and saw how there's still strength in this girl who still decided to march through the trials and was about to start on that journey. The strong spirit has always been in her eyes. It will take sunlight, rain, and so much more for it to bloom out of her.
She decided to be more independent. She discovered places alone, watching concerts as she sang along or wandering through museums on rainy afternoons. She began mapping what she wanted to do in life and started working on it before graduation. She knew what she was capable of. And still does.
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| 2017: Oh she has it and she knows it. Something ignited in her to fight and succeed. |
It's been three years since I posed for these photos and it still remains to be one of the most powerful and poignant points during that year. It was picture proof that hey, I'm still here after being beaten up by the difficulties and I'm not backing down. I knew someday I'd want to see how I changed for the better. I was looking forward to it.
If this girl only knew how in those three years, it felt like anguish. Things never came easy and it shouldn't be; How will she find the value in that? But she never gave up. She fought through and won in some challenges. For those moments she lost, she learned lessons and gave it her best shot the next time.
She pursued her dreams and is working on them still. She is finally doing what she knows best and for the country she loves.
She became more confident as a woman and it showed. There were times she was unsure of her capabilities, there were times she doubted herself. But she still knew what she had and harnessed it. She knew her power and she's always had it. Not even a moment of doubt can overpower her innate strength.
She embraced her sensuality and celebrated every curve in her body. She valued improving her intellect and skills for the social good. She knew what kind of woman she is and she's fierce and phenomenal. Her eyes will lure you in yet will shut you out, for you can't handle this strongwoman. She's always known she had a bit of magic in her and throughout the years she worked on being spellbinding, bewitching.
And it undeniably shows. You can't mess with a woman who knows the divine femininity in her.
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| 2020 portrait: I'm indestructible, magical. |
Funny how I tell this tale through portraits and how I still refer this girl as a separate entity when that girl is me. It's been surreal to reach farther than I once was a few years ago in this journey to improve myself. To go beyond what I initially set for myself. May these portraits set a reminder of soldiering on to being much more powerful in the times to come.
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