Taken earlier. Feeling extremely happy and grateful for this opportunity regardless of experiencing a lil sadness today

I just happened to have some thoughts swirling in my head earlier, as I'm finally experiencing the more rigorous aspects of my job now.

Today, I experienced losing my breath running from one place to another, sweating profusely under the hot sun whose heat seemed more intense in Intramuros. I notice my skin as of lately has become tanned and burnt, nothing I'd have when I was in the air-conditioned environment of my teaching practicum last year. I've been snobbed by the older journalists from the bigger publications, speaking to me as if I didn't deserve to be in the media.

I experienced some failures and missteps in my work today although my editor assures to me that I'm still starting out and I don't need to apologize too much about it. I've met cold people who make me miss the friendlier and warmer environment of the academe. Reality hit me that it's not enough to learn how to adjust to a fast-paced environment; sometimes, you need to manipulate the pace.

I felt extremely sad for the first time since I got hired all shocked and excited, and got trained all giddy and motivated.

As I walked in the stoned steps of Intramuros, I started having flashbacks.

Before being a journalist, I was just a fresh grad who was anxious of what might happen next. I recall wandering in the Central Business Districts (Makati, Taguig, and Ortigas to be exact)and just feeling miserable. I'll get lost in these concrete jungles, not because I didn't know which building to go but because I didn't know what I'd get myself into in applying for these jobs. By jobs, I mean those that would leave me desk-bound in front of a computer. Never mind the pay; I really felt nervous on the days I'll just end up in any of the jobs I applied to prior to being a journalist.

I told myself earlier today that though this day wasn't great, I won't avoid it. I'm luckier compared to before. I was a girl who will walk in smooth pavements with skyscraper buildings around her while she wore her corporate best, wishing she'll fast forward to the day she'll finally walk in the acacia-adorned paths of the university she planned to do her post-grad in.

Little did I know then that fast forward today, I'm lucky enough to see beautiful colonial structures that still amaze me every time. I never dreamed of finally immersing myself in such a historical place on a near-daily basis. Although I'm not in Intramuros everyday(because I still go back and forth in different cities everyday), every moment I go here for work will always be delightful to my senses. Even if I'm frazzled running blocks to offices and blocks back to my work station, I'll still notice my surroundings. This is better than being surrounded by buildings that seem like are ganging up on me while I'm chained in the neck by a job I absolutely hated.

This work I have now was something I wanted bad and now I'm in, I can't give up. I wanted this and I still do, even if today I felt like a failure regardless of whatever assurance people give to me.

I can only breathe in and think this: I'm in one of my favorite places in the world and doing work I could only wish for. I'm only having a bad day today.

Every feeling of disappointment just flushed out at the thought of what I mentioned earlier. I learned that in every triumphs, I'll experience trials and vice versa. Another amazing thing I discovered is when I want something, I end up experiencing getting better. All I'm left to do now is work hard--because what great thing comes easy, right?