Note: This was a letter I wrote to myself from words that I used to cheer myself up. 2017 has been my most difficult year and at a point, I thought was going to be my last. I survived whatever enemy of a person and event that came and embraced them as if they were an integral part of my growth. I decided to dedicate this letter to you, my dear reader; a survivor of 2017. Happy New Year and new life. 💛
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| Here's to you, brave warrior. Treat yourself to your favorite coffee(or milktea as shown), lounge back and pat yourself in the back for conquering 2017. (Also, not wear a skirt as short as above lol) |
Dear Reader/Survivor,
You are reading this because you have finally made it! 2017 has been a cyclone of events that make the storms you are used to only drizzles of the beginning. There are people who came to you like the boom of a thunder and there are those who left like trees uproooted by hurricanes. 2017 was a season of various seasons in your life that challenged you.
2017 was the Pandora's box that swung open in your life so far--or maybe a few Pandora's boxes that opened and created all sorts of difficulties for you. You look to the skies above and wonder what you did to deserve all the pain, treachery, sorrow, hatred.
You questioned yourself and your capability to live with the challenges. You wanted to give up yet you wonder how you still stood up through the trials that try to knock you over. You braved the darkness and allowed yourself to shine through it, not blend in. You think you never had the rigor, but you were full of it even if you never recognize you did. You had grace and grit.You stood tall and strutted forward despite the weight of your problems pulling you backward. You faced people who kept you from your goals. You hustled your way into seemingly impossible levels and unlocked your true potential. You learned not only to be powerful but to know you had that power in you all along
You got involved in events that traumatized you. You would lock yourself up and choke to tears. You will replay in your head just how much of a victim you were. You will cry foul to how life is allowing those who violated your being or sabotaged your dreams to live life happily while you are left with the scars and bruises, shame and guilt. You have gotten judgments because of what you got into that you never asked for. Slowly, you begin to see the worth you already had to begin with. You tell yourself that whatever sad charade your are left with, it won't define you. You learn to rise above it. You valued yourself more and forgive yourself instead of beating yourself up when you had the chance for being stupid. You came to that conclusion that it isn't your fault you were dragged this way but it will be your fault if you remained face down in the puddle of tears your self-pity created.
You once had people who had your back who are now way past behind your present now. You were betrayed but you chose to be kind, never cruel, despite the opposite being thrown at you. With your fullness of heart even if those people were heartless to you, you are braver and stronger. You didn't have to fight back to know you are a fighter. You didn't have to avenge with a sword struck through them yet you did yourself a favor and cut them off from your life with shears they unknowingly handed to you. You still ache for the old friendships and companionship sometimes because you believe their good outweighed their worst but some of the bad just isn't forgivable enough to lose your self-respect and allow them to step all over you the way they did.
You look at your hands that have held on to what you shouldn't for the longest time and all its invisible but immensely painful wounds. You were tempted to touch wounds again and realize how that wasn't a good idea. You sought for the comfort you once had, not noticing how it was the same thing that gave you all the pain. You became smart and knew how to move on. You moved slowly knowing growth isn't a race, and in the end, you win and enjoyed the prize of constant self-improvement.
You felt like you had to settle with someone. For years, you were always emotionally taken by different beings who came but never stayed. You thought you have always been independent from not permanently having love even if your heart and mind was on one person to the next. You still had attachments to those you loved and you wanted to quickly plant another to the next person who'll come. After sowing all these truths in your head, you decide to stay single but not emotionally available. You decide to be in your own solitude despite it being initially lonely. You learned that you are taking over the wheels in your life and not allowing another untimely love story to write that you normally stop and adjust to. You are pushing the brakes before you collide with another tragedy in your heart. You became happier loving yourself much more and you became much more unattainable, far more precious to just be with any person.
You experienced confusion on what you really want to do in life. You thought you had a map of what will lie ahead for you and then you discover there are many other paths that will lead you to different destinations. You discover new passions. You meet people who will connect you to extraordinary career paths you never know you wanted to be in. You evaluate what you really want in your heart and not what the shiny new roads end up in that isn't for you nor the alluring avenue names that cleverly label what you aren't really meant for. You realize that there will be a change of plans but never in the change of your real purpose of living that you learn way before the labyrinth of the real, working world you faced.
Your eyes glisten now because of the glassy tears shed, but soon it will sparkle with the strength you earned. Even if you are much wiser, stronger, feistier, you still have your doubts on how you will face life in the future. You still are aware of what life awaits for you. You should never forget that the assurance you need is that you will never stop being afraid but it was this fear that propelled you to the best person you are today. You may not believe it yet in yourself but look back at all that you have triumphed over. That is all the assurance you need and I know you know just how much you are made of. You know you are worth more than the problems of 2017 weighing on you.
You will smile because you will live your life and you will have life living in you this 2018. Keep your head up high and your courage piled higher always. Remember, the good always suffer but that doesn't mean they aren't the weakest. They are only tested and they always prevail. 😊
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| Another Note: There is a story as to why I am using these images for this post. They were taken months ago after I experienced success in one of the toughest challenges of 2017. I look weary but I am happy. I know I have accomplished even more after this and will accomplish more this 2018. |
