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| You gotta have a trusted sisteraka by your side and be a trusted sisteraka to other girls, as well. |
Women empowerment has been weaved through my veins growing up. Admiring the likes of Miriam Santiago, Risa Hontiveros, and Sr. Mary John Mananzan in which later on I also get acquainted with Sylvia Plath, Simone de Beauvoir and Roxane Gay, I see how it's important to be part of this advocacy to fight for Womens' Rights. Right now as an adult in this day and age, the desire to obtain the ideal world where both men and women are seamlessly, not overlappingly, living together is actually even stronger than ever.
The feminist in me could tell you this: most of the time, yes, the patriarchy is the enemy (lol that sounded so radical), but recently I just discovered that the enemy also lies between us women.
I say this because we can go on with our advocacy for women; fight for our rights we deserve. Unfortunately, in our daily lives, we probably are guilty of oppressing fellow women in ways we don't even realize--or maybe do.
Okay, we just do.
I thought of writing this because I know women who experience these types of betrayal from fellow women. For the latter, it's a kind of way for them to show how they can feed their egos by disrespecting other women. When some girls do this, they feel they have this power over those girls they think they toppled over.
Probably a good example for this was when I went out with someone who ended up going out with some other girl behind my back some few years back. Although it did hurt for me, what I never quite understood was how public the girl was over her "achievement": knowing she stole a boy from a girl like me, as if she overthrew me or something. Does making a fellow woman look weak have to make you seem more powerful and desirable?
This is the wrong kind of empowerment any--EVEN THE ONES YOU CALL A TRASHY SLUT--woman doesn't need. I could only feel horrible not for myself as a victim of vicious bitchiness but for them bitches because deep inside, I do want to support them. I do know they have a story to tell--and every time, they do--that just encourages me to strengthen my efforts in making a better place for us women and make them feel genuinely better with themselves.
BUT LADIES, HOW CAN WE DO JUST THAT IF IN THE END, WE NEED TO HARM OTHER WOMEN?
I mean, what person doesn't feel they have to get back at a woman who has done them wrong? It's a womanly reflex proven in chick flicks and real life. Yet, we can learn to be above our hate and insecurity. I observe that we can hate our fellow women with such intensity, especially if they do us bad, and may I be damned if what I just said there is false. I think we women have so much rage when we despise a woman because we expect deep inside, they'd be more compassionate especially to us fellow ladies.
We have become so self-centered that if we actually advocate for womens' rights, we only support the idea and not the actual people we support. We have that urge to defend ourselves from men because we hear stories of inequality and injustice among women but here we are, still having the nerve to bring down some women in our own lives we dislike for petty, superficial reasons.
I mentioned having experienced cheating before. Sure, it's easier releasing that hatred towards the lady who decided to hurt me but reality is, it's also the guy's fault. I can stay bitter forever but I learned to be above it. I learned to understand that there are girls who do things because they're insecure and it's disappointing how they result to being validated by the opposite sex in order to feel their worth. This is why as much as possible, I learned to praise every girl I encounter(honestly, of course). I try to feed my gal pals with positive comments about themselves so they find that validation within, not in trying to hurt other girls or sleep with other guys.
I learned to exercise patience--ESPECIALLY TO THE MOST ANNOYING OF BITCHES--because I know, they still exist in this world of sexism and prejudice. They are probably victims of their own inequality or injustice which for me, regardless of how horrible they were to me, is something I want to address as with any woman.
I had a friend who was the type to pair me up with guys. When I end up going out with the guys, I just learn that behind my back, she would lure them and attract them to her which is why guys she pairs me with never got serious with me and end up even liking her. While it is infuriating, I just laugh knowing that my worth as a woman is still there. Hers, in all honesty, is quite pitying but not impossible to improve on. This is the part where, as lenient as I sound, try to understand her more. Some people just won't be content with themselves and what they have so they feel the need to possess others' happiness. How I wish, as a woman who wants to empower other women, I can help her gain more confidence with herself without the lust to score every guy and betray other girls.
Speaking of empowering women, it's great to see how awareness towards sexual harassment and violence is widespread now. I have encountered, however, those who still believe that it's really a woman's fault they get treated the way they do. Sadly, those I encounter were usually women who strongly criticize these victims of rape and harassment. Not too long ago, I had a heated debate with some of these female relatives of mine over a popular rape case. While I understand why they'd be against the rape victims because of the questionable evidence, they started belittling these women by saying they deserved what they experienced. This angered me so much because what woman believes other women--or anyone--deserve to be raped because of their promiscuity? Or because of their stupidity?
This bothers me in a whole different level. I hate the stigma that women need to respect themselves so men can respect them, too and if the former does the contrary, it's their fault they faced the consequences. Can this thinking stop? I expected better from these women who have the spine to point at other women, accusing the latter for getting themselves into these situations that were "Easily avoided". Haaay nako nakakaasar! Yet, I choose to educate instead. I told them they shouldn't talk down on the women whether a rape really happened or not.
We need to be more empathetic especially with our females. Women come in all shapes and sizes plus have different wants and needs.Regardless of our differences, there is an invisible thread that binds us all together. Have you ever wondered why we immediately feel that connection with another girl who just talks about her heartache? Or when a girl gushes about makeup and clothes? Or when a girl shares about the struggles she faces every day for being a girl? WE JUST KNOW! WE ARE ALL SOUL SISTERS!
In this world where women are still pitted against each other; where catfights between two starlets sell news more than acts of goodwill; where we focus a girl's faults rather than accomplishments; where we compare who is hotter than who, women need to support each other. To be honest, I cannot remove that urge to be better than the rest but I'd rather do so by doing my own thing. I'm doing it by improving my skills and sharing my passions. I don't need to eliminate my fellow women in their own game just to feel great about myself; supporting and respecting them are actually already big accomplishments for me.
While they say it's really survival of the fittest, we still need others to survive. No one can understand a girl better than another girl. Women empowerment is about empowering each other and not abusing our "power" over another. 🙂
