Promulgation printscreen from PTV-4 livestream

DECEMBER 19 - TAGUIG CITY, PHILIPPINES

The much awaited promulgation of the Maguindanao Massacre, a gruesome event that every Filipino knows about, happened after 10 years since the murders transpired. The verdict? Recognizable names from the powerful Ampatuan clan, namely Andal Jr. and Zaldy, and a slew of others were convicted beyond reasonable doubt for the crime. Eight of the Ampatuan respondents and other police officials were sentenced to reclusion perpetua, others convicted will be give six to ten years due to being accessories to the crime.

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This was a trial whose chapters unfolded as I grew up. I was a young teen when I first read and heard about the massacre and I recall how the major dailies' headlines were emblazoned with this news. I remember before Facebook even became the primary source of news for most people, I was able to see uncensored photos of the crime in my Multiply account. Eyes dangling out, heads blown off, chests slashed off, I soon learned most of these mutilated corpses were journalists. This massacre not only showcased how politics are dirty in the Philippines but also just how the media, whose job is to report the truth on these events, are caught in the middle.

I've always wanted to write about how this feels for me as a young reporter not only because the partial decision was released last Thursday but because this is an event that is hammered in every Filipino's head for the past ten years. When I think of the Maguindanao Massacre, I think of mutilated bodies recovered from the soil and shriveled metal vehicles a number of those victims rode in.

When I was a kid, I knew I wanted to write and the thought of getting into newswriting was still something I'm trying to grasp if it was a profession I wanted to pursue but not once did this event scare me off that thought. Aren't there risks even before this one that we're already aware of once we enter the field of writing news? I even had a friend who told me he couldn't be fully happy for me because even if he's proud, he's worried about how especially today journalists are faced with obstacles that risk our lives, whether you're there in conflict areas or at home typing. Because for others, the news you report is a threat.

I'd like to believe that news is the truth...and is someone's freedom.

When I decided to actually pursue reporting for a newspaper, I recall during an interview when my editor asked me if the job entails me to that if I was willing to go to then war-torn Marawi at any moment or cover a bombing somewhere in the Metro to which I immediately replied yes. Not even without thinking. Not because I say it thoughtlessly just to get hired. I said yes because if that time comes, I'm not afraid to deliver news.

I haven't been in the industry long enough to feel wise yet I guess one of the realizations that is hardest to swallow is knowing telling the news is just that; telling the news. Sure, it's a start for a bigger action that will be done to address social maladies but as a writer who also wants to help society, I know I can't do anything more than what I write. Being a labor and health reporter since last year, I could report about mass retrenchment of employees or dengue outbreaks but a part of me feels helpless because I wish I could do so much more even if I don't know what kind of capability is needed to do so.

Back to the Maguindanao Massacre, I was with many watching the livestream of the promulgation and cried when I heard the conviction. That's ten years of these victims' families' pursuit of justice. Also, I read the decision over the weekend. I'm not halfway done yet some words that stuck with me is how the media killed in the convoy of the Mangudadatu camp where killed because the murderers knew, they will report the events. And by killing them, they thought they will be silenced.

So I will tell you what this partial decision means to me not only as a writer who grew up knowing the grim happenings but as a Filipino: it means that evil won't go unscathed. Even if you try your best to silence the truth, the truth will always find a way to come out and justice will always prevail.

This part of the testimony of one of the witnesses brought chills to my back.

As for risks, there are many entities and organizations out there a journalist reports about who have allegedly done horrible things. I recall reading the victims' relatives in the partial decision and how they expressed worry when they learned their loved one will be covering a risky coverage between two political rivals that morning of November 23, 2009. Fear is part of the job but what isn't supposed to be is how you will kill a journalist for doing their job. It's a crime that you're supposed to rot in jail for.

But one of the the things that definitely worries me is how recently, some sectors have successfully pit the public against the media. How speculations that are unverified have threatened the lives of many in the industry and now media is considered an enemy of sorts. I always wonder where do we draw the line between risk journalists signed up for from the abusive behavior of people who think they can push it farther? In this country, how do writers like me and many others feel safe in reporting about the truth?