The Nightmare is the Dream

May 11, 2017


I mentioned in my last post that HOCUS' "La Pesadilla"(The Nightmare) became my favorite painting in the exhibit--and of all time(for now). If you want to get  a good look of it as a whole, it is a painting that consist of three canvasses that each depict a certain theme. The left is the evil, the right is the good, and the middle is the Philippines in merciless chaos.

Contrary to what most would initially think, "The Nightmare" isn't mainly depicting what seems to be Armageddon. It's is, rather, a highly dramatized interpretation of the artists towards the colonial Filipino. That is how I see, though but feel free to tell me your ideas of this painting!


I wish I could own this painting someday. It's such a showstopper; a statement. It's even more breathtaking in person. Now, I'll discuss about my favorite details of the painting.



A close look at the Good side(bottom) in comparison with the Walking Dead-ish vibe of the Evil side(top). Bakit puro lalake sa good at puro babae naman sa bad? Hmm....(Joke lang lol)


This was in the upper right corner of the "Good" side. Notice that some of the angels have a "Salakot" like hat? I could be overanalyzing since some angels are depicted to wear helmets like that. BUT LOOK AT WHAT SEEMS TO BE STREAMS OF THE PHILIPPINE FLAG'S COLORS ON THE VERY UPPER SIDE!


Three crosses stand afoot of what I call the hill of death(look at that huge skull!). Reminiscent of  Christ's crucifixion yet how come he isn't in his cross?


A child holding up a candle meant to be given to the cross. It symbolizes hope but I think he a little cray for not noticing what is around him. Also, I appreciate how so many of the skeletons in the photo are given detail no mater how tiny they are.


One of the more interesting details just because it took a while for me to read the underlying meaning. The HOCUS exhibit has some books around that explain each of the paintings and according to it, the letters actually spell out "Historia" and the person refuses to go into it which is crucial if you want to make a better future.



Manananggals gorging on the flesh of this poor guy. One of my favorite details of the painting just cause cool lang and gory.


A kapre playing a harp. I appreciate paradoxes like this where a demonic figure is seen with what we usually associate with angels. (AND CAN WE DISCUSS JUST HOW FINELY DETAILED THE SKELETONS ARE IN THE PAINTING? GALING)


Now, here's a detail that definitely hits a chord. All bloodshed aside, notice the little crabs all over the dead bodies? According to HOCUS, it shows how Filipinos are guilty of crab mentality. 

So, with a painting like this will it ever make Filipinos realize how we're slowly(if not, already)at this point of mess? Maybe, maybe not. "La Pesadilla" is a haunting, eerie painting which only seems so not only of the abundance of blood and gore but because it could be an implication that there is something up with society today--more than a century after the Spanish regime left the Philippines

HOCUS Focus at the National Museum

May 06, 2017

No one can understand how much I adore the National Museum, particularly the National Museum of Fine Arts. From the moment I set foot here back in the times I had to fork over 50 bucks for the entrance fee, I knew I found one of my favorite places in the world. I will never, ever get sick of this place and I memorize this place like the back of my hand even if every time I go here, something new pops up. Although I love going to the other museums under NM's wing(such as the Planetarium and National Museum of Anthropology), the Fine Arts has a very special place in my heart.💕


A wild(but really harmless and afraid of the actual wild) Gill in her natural habitat in the form of a neoclassical building that houses priceless art. This is an old photo but still very much me until today.
In Gallery XXI, a new exhibit went up much to my curiosity. The last time I went to National Museum was last year and I remember Gallery XXI was where BenCab held his final art exhibit. Before stepping foot inside, I can hear an audio of Gregorian chants playing which made the hairs of my neck stand. Entering the gallery, I was greeted with angels and demons of La Pesadilla as opposed to the numerous Sabel interpretations from the last time.


"HOCUS: The Hofileña & Custodio Paintings" is a collaboration between two unlikely people: historian Saul Holifena Jr. and painter Guy Custodio. Curated by Ms. Gemma Cruz Araneta, the exhibit focuses on art that tells the story of the Philippines and the Church during the Spanish times. It really does give me the impression at first of colonial-era religious art because many of HOCUS oil paintings uses golds that contrast with murky tones that somehow fit the haunting images. Most of the paintings were made between 2014-2017 though so they're pretty brand new. 26 paintings join forces to make up this exhibit yet for this post, I'm going to show my favorites. 

I love looking and analyzing each  painting and when I finally get it, I hear the Gregorian chants getting louder and louder in my ear. It's as if it was a Godly revelation to me that somehow scares and amazes me. I love it when art gives me those complex emotions and with added musical drama! 

Here are some of mah peyborits:

The Nightmare

You just HAVE to see this painting in person because pictures don't give it justice.
This was the first painting I saw and it immediately became my favorite. I swear, I spent a lifetime just staring at it and all its glorious details! Took so much photos of its details too and will make a separate post about this painting soon. If I can afford to invest in artwork, I'd purchase this in a heartbeat--I just love this! It screams the obvious "Good vs Evil" theme yet there are so much underlying meanings. I die talaga, mga bes! 💓💓💓

 Lectores de las palabras perdidas

In English, this translates as "Readers of the Lost Words". It shows friars blindfolded, trying hard to read the word of the Lord. 


Puente Del Capricho

 My other favorite painting. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE the Rizal references and also the fact he is also in the photo(find him!). This bridge was mentioned in El Filibusterismo and is shown here in its unfinished state. I remember in the book, this was never finished because the friars thought it wasn't safe and stable enough but it survived through major natural disasters. 




If you were able to find Rizal in his stance during his execution whilst riding a boat, then you definitely found him! Look closely at the details: you can see the red dots/gun shot wounds he had.






This is the cutest detail of all: Pagong at Matsing! 





Retablo Del Rey Felipe Segundo


When I read the artists' explanation for this piece, you can see that King Philip is in the center of this altar piece, surrounded by the patron saints who are normally known to the Filipinos such as San Isidro Labrador(patron of farmers)and St. Francis of Assissi. It will make you think if the Indios back then prioritized the king above all.

Dios esta esperando


"God is waiting" as you can see the indios waiting for their turn to reach to him. You can see how hey are blinded to the fact that one doesn't need to go through the hurdles of whether the friars will open the door for them or not: the walls are free and down and easy for one to enter. I also love how in going to the stairway to heaven, the people struggle in this chess-like journey when they can be like those men running up the stairway.

Special mentions are these paintings whose names I forgot huhu



This painting directly above  is interesting because you can see how the Church is at the top of the organ and you see the Indios climbing their way up, one even getting killed at the process.

Also, real 18th-19th century statues of Jesus were displayed in the exhibit. I've always been fascinated by old  holy statues because looking at them in person, the materials speak of a story like the one below. It's common for me to see wooden statues like this look like they have been exposed to free radicals(charot big word hahaha) due to it's rough surface but the crucifix is polished and good as new. How is that? I find that kinda cool lol.


This is another awesome one because the wood looks like it has been exposed to smoke(Black Nazarene, anyone?). The brass behind it is intriguing because some corners are bent and worn. I can only imagine how much this has been through after surviving for a very long time. 😄



I tell you that you MUST go to the National Museum if you haven't but if you already did, "HOCUS: The Hofileña & Custodio Paintings" is one exhibit you should not miss. How I wish this is permanent! Another exhibit to look out for besides Hocus is one that focuses on the Mañosa Brothers' works which I absolutely admire. 💓💓💓

Edit: I apologize for the absolutely shitty way this post was presented. I have no idea why the text sizes are different and why there are odd spacings. Trying to figure all that's wrong but then I have only started using Blogger again after years so bear with me lang po. I'll do better 😁

What the Mental Health Act of 2017 Means to Me

May 03, 2017


Panget talaga ng ilaw pag fluorecent o sadyang mukha ko lang hehe charot!

Yesterday May 2nd of 2017, I had the privilege to attend the third and final reading of Senate Bill No. 1345. This is commonly known as the Philippine Mental Health Bill which is sponsored by Senator Risa Hontiveros. The bill was approved on its final reading with the 19 senators present unanimously voting affirmative for it (Finally! Someting they all agree on! Chos).

People who came to support the bill mostly wore green, the color of mental health. Green ribbon pins(such as the one I'm wearing above)were given out. Besides getting to see Kylie Versoza(who attended yesterday and whom when I first laid eyes on her, I wondered sino ba itong magandang nilalalang), what happens now after the Mental Health Act of 2017 gets approved?

The bills aims to make mental health care more accessible "at the community level", says Risa. This is great because for one to have access to a psychiatrist, you need to pay thousands in private hospitals. I applaud institutions such as Philippine General Hospital and the National Center for Mental Health for providing affordable care and medicines but honestly, they shouldn't be the only ones.

I used to regularly go to NCMH and I would get to talk to the patients waiting there. Imagine how so many of them come from provinces and would line up just so they will get a 15-30 minute session with the only out-patient psychiatrists available at that time? Lucky if they're the few who can afford the private sessions with a private psychiatrist in the place but not everyone has that privilege. Mental health care is treated as a "privilege" here when it is actually a basic human right. With the bill passed, it's definitely a start to make all communities have the access to this least recognized health condition in this country.

By saying "least recognized", I mean that mental health still gets stigmatized. Sometimes, I feel that is why psychiatric care and counselling isn't as widespread because it isn't something people are aware of. It's something people easily dismiss due to the fact that it's something that's "only in the head" which really isn't. It's much more complicated and complex and sometimes the people who suffer from it do not understand it themselves until it's too late. Those who suffer from it do not find themselves comfortable in sharing it because it's still considered taboo.

And this is what the Mental Health Act means to me: a beacon of light. It means that now it's brought on a national level and recognized now by this policy, no one experiencing problems with their mental health would be afraid. To be frank, it will still take a lifetime for many others to truly understand what mental health actually is. All that matters now is that with this approval, those who battle the demons inside of them won't have to feel they do not matter. 😊

Very, very short rant/kwento about my Session Hall experience:

I was a little outraged with some of those who came to "support" the bill. During the hearing, the Bill took no more than 10 minutes to be approved by the senators. I remember the people in front of me saying "Yun lang? Ganun lang?" and the girls behind me said way worse. First, one retorted "We just wasted time going here" and then "We took that time to find parking." Her other friend said "Wala bang away? That's it?" Ughhhh, the nerve!!!

Of course, it offends me that these people say these things. I personally experience a condition(will share about it soon and when I feel ready)and in those 10 minutes, I feel my life--as well as others--have changed forever. It's a milestone moment because this is the first law of its kind in the Philippines and I feel our voices were finally heard.

So yeah, suck your faces if it seemed so "bilis" and "unexciting" that the actual process of approval wasn't as drama-filled. I commuted two hours and walked under the scorching sun to get to the Senate(Because I thought it was in the actual GSIS Building lol I'm so tanga) and had no complaints. 😛


Photo from Risa Hontiveros' FB page
Guys, sobrang idol ko si Risa Hontiveros! I swear! When she entered the Session Hall, I wanted to run up to her and say "YOU INSPIRE ME TALAGA!!!" I do not have a photo of her speaking because 1.) Guards were so strict over using phones inside (A poor dude near me was caught by the guard taking a picture of Risa and had to delete it in front of the guard) and 2.) I just focused on listening to her words. I will never, ever forget the last thing she said regarding the bill:

"Our people with mental health needs will no longer suffer silently in the dark. They will no longer endure an invisible illness and fight an invisible war."
(Seriously had to write that down on my notebook and check online if tama nasulat ko and thank goodness oo naman lol).

And to add, number 3.) She just suddenly disappeared after she made a speech on the deaths of Dr. Jaja Sinolinding and Dr. Drey Perlas. Kaya poor me, walang photo op.

But that's okay! Looking at the photo above, she held the same #MHActNow card as I did hihi.

Poetry

Poetry Predictions

May 01, 2017

Photo by Lance Cortez

I always find the most interesting things whenever I clean my room. I've cleaned it a few times yet somehow, something I haven't seen in years shows up. This time, what I found was this old poem circa 2012-2013.

I found this poem in between a notebook--not this cool black papered one on the photo, FYI(this was used for aesthetic purposes lol). It was a ratty, yarn bounded notebook that ironically has neat, white pages. If you look closely, the paper shows some translucency due to age. I believed this poem was made either in 2012 because the notebook I found it in was from my third year high school or 2013 because there is a poem at the back of it that was an early version of another poem of mine. If you also look closely, you can see some of the ink from the back poem sorta spread out already(the second line especially, where one can barely read the word "transitions").

It's funny how I had an idea about love when back then, I never had a boyfriend and only had around two flings my whole high school life. I also had petty crushes that I refuse to remember without disgust because I'd have this thing where I over-romanticize them through poems I'll write behind my notebooks so no one would see. Even before the word "hugot" had its current meaning in society, I was the very embodiment of it before! 😂

Anyways, I find this poem some nearly 4-5 years later(STILL NOT SURE ON THE DATE) and realize how I found it in the most appropriate period in my life. I'm in college now and already had experienced falling in and out of love recently. I don't know how some girl from a few years back gets to perfectly explain through a poem what I might be going through now but it's damn cool in a way.

To be honest, there are so many things I wished I told myself when I was younger(from cutting my own layers to my questionable choices in crushes) but I guess my younger self also knew what to say to me now that I'm an adult.

Edited the poem today though I didn't change it too much(I just put the right punctuation marks and the spelling erratum on "hapiness" lol):


Fun thing I learned in one of my literature classes before: the smallest unit of a poem is actually the punctuation mark--or lack of it. Such a small thing actually makes a difference in meaning and how the reader will analyze it. 😀