To Gill, With the Broken Heart
April 19, 2019Note: This was something I wrote late last year. I decided not to post it because maybe I found it too personal but looking through some stuff in my drafts, I read this again and decided maybe it's time. I'm proud of what I did last year and my continuing progress into this 2019. This shows that nothing will stop me from being the best person I can be when I'm not exactly the one for someone.
Note #2: I don't like this person anymore ewww we don't stan insecure, spoiled men
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| You can never bring me down. Photo by Lance Kristoff Cortez |
To Gill, with a broken heart:
So maybe your heart still beats for the same person after all this time since the start of this year, as 2018 is about to close
So maybe your heart still beats for the same person after all this time since the start of this year, as 2018 is about to close
Didn't you want to break it off anyway? Didn't you make that choice to be someone he doesn't need at this very moment? Or maybe you just fell for his tricks of him saying he never deserved you and he just wanted someone else? Guys, have their ways, you know.
But you, you have your ways, too and it's beyond amazing than you ever imagined.
Wasn't February the day you finally graduated from the university you dreamt to study in as a little girl? That very same one you passed your first choice program in? The place you chose after passing another university you wanted to get into? That same university with the most admirable people who left a mark on you, knowing what goals you wanted to achieve in life. You came there for a Bachelor's Degree, but you left with dreams to do something remarkable for the country.
Wasn't it soon after that you threw yourself to the real world, dressed formally to every job interview. Accepted here. Rejected there. You knew never to settle until the one opportunity you set your mind on came, and it welcomed you with a warm embrace and a hard punch. The job that gave you the greatest feeling of accomplishment but also the worst wave of despair. The job, above all, was the perfect learning experience for a former university student turned student of life.
Wasn't it this career you finally had that made you realize how much society needed help? How injustice prevails and poverty is widespread. You find yourself studying more about issues and reading about laws. You remember your goals in college and realize you want to be much more than what you thought you wanted to be. You suddenly say no to dates to those silly boys, because you find yourself physically tired from a day's work yet reserving that energy to make sure you do something to be better the next day.
Wasn't being trained by the very best both back in college and now in work that reminded you never gave up and you went through it? You were trained to face rigor as much as accomplishing triumph. You find yourself silent when a great journalist or linguist would correct you, knowing that making a certain mistake now won't be bad especially if you're determined to make it your last. You find yourself smiling widely when the best in the fields commend you, making you feel you're capable of much more. But none of these won't dampen your strive to become better, smarter, stronger.
Maybe you aren't as glamorous or rich as what he had in mind. But you earned your own money and had to work your way to where you are, which I'll remind you that you still have a long way to go before you call yourself a success. You find yourself embarrassed that you still commute or don't have your own place but you will get there. There is nothing embarrassing with the little means you have when you know you have the potential to gain more--and others see that. He never saw that because he never was in your place.
Honey, he never knew what hardship was and he never had brilliance, either.
Maybe you never had the idyllic life but you have one filled with adventures no guy can promise you but yourself, only because you chose to go further with your abilities and opportunities. He may not want to chase you anymore, but what guy can chase you to how far you've brought yourself to? Would he say the same for himself?
To Gill with the unbroken spirit, hammer this in your head more. You had goals but you learned there was much more to them. You had opportunities but you learned not to settle for the first open door--just like that guy you thought was all you wanted when you know there's so much more than him worth discovering and maybe, opening up to.
Maybe you aren't as glamorous or rich as what he had in mind. But you earned your own money and had to work your way to where you are, which I'll remind you that you still have a long way to go before you call yourself a success. You find yourself embarrassed that you still commute or don't have your own place but you will get there. There is nothing embarrassing with the little means you have when you know you have the potential to gain more--and others see that. He never saw that because he never was in your place.
Honey, he never knew what hardship was and he never had brilliance, either.
Maybe you never had the idyllic life but you have one filled with adventures no guy can promise you but yourself, only because you chose to go further with your abilities and opportunities. He may not want to chase you anymore, but what guy can chase you to how far you've brought yourself to? Would he say the same for himself?
To Gill with the unbroken spirit, hammer this in your head more. You had goals but you learned there was much more to them. You had opportunities but you learned not to settle for the first open door--just like that guy you thought was all you wanted when you know there's so much more than him worth discovering and maybe, opening up to.
To Gill with the broken heart, you may think your heart broke but it never did. It stood against all challenges of this year and it will withstand other challenges more. It never deserved his love and he didn't deserve your heart that loved the country more.
He said he wasn't ready for you but the world? It has always been ready for your desire to make a difference.
He said he wasn't ready for you but the world? It has always been ready for your desire to make a difference.
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