To the powerful and greedy, the monsters that haunted me...

I kept my silence for the longest time, as all the scrutiny hovered over my head like storm clouds and overpouring rains. It soon died down but my wounds soon turned to scars that will forever remind me of what I never wanted to happen but already did.

I thought the stage of trauma will never leave and I still tear up when I'm left alone with thoughts of the past. More than the actual series unfortunate events, the aftermath was unfortunately worse. I will be judged as that girl who foolishly got lured in and the girl stupid enough to not fight back.

If I can describe being frozen the moment you took over me lasted until now as I flashback a year later, it will never be encapsulated. I'll just be that one others say who wanted it to happen, because I allowed it to, because consent took the best of me more than fear.

Whatever happened could've been avoided, right? Rather than you having better judgment to not even put me in that position?

I will never fight back. You and the rest, however, can throw all the rocks my way. You all can take everything away from me, as if riches and power isn't enough. You would want my dignity stripped off even more, like the way those clothes dropped in the bedroom floor, like the way my worth fell knowing I'm not worth helping bringing justice regarding this.

You are all cowards. You tried to silence me, strip me off the only things I had, and force me to forget so everyone can move on. How could I move on? I only had my education that was nearly taken away and my self-esteem that suddenly reached an all time low. I felt myself sinking, because I'm not worth fighting the truth for, I'm not worth even being a fighter in the first place against people like you.

All of us moved on. I find myself having to push myself harder to ultimately gain back everything I lost as I watched all of you live life extravagantly and unremorsefully. You will never understand how that in rebuilding myself, I occasionally crack and have to start all over again.

But you will never bring me down, not today.

2018 is a fresh start for me, as bent flowers bloom and sprout and open wounds close and heal. I want to fight back but this society is too sick, because money matters only and never the truth. I'll just watch myself rise until someday, I will see you all meet your doom.

I will never fight back. You all may have beaten me black and blue and remove all color that once resided in my vivid personality, but I still feel a little pulse in me and a sign of life despite your attempts to die me down. You will never put a good girl down, even if your evil has reigned for God knows how long.

To the man who hurt and violated me and to the men who knew about their friend's vileness but chose to stay silent, may you someday feel my pain much more than I have now.

For the longest time, I have watched you disgusting men love whoever you love like the doting angels you are but someday, not only will the women you love see how horrible you are but know you have hurt women of their kind. One day, you will be married and have daughters and how I wish the women in your life never experienced the injustice I did. I wish to see the day the women that mattered in your life learn how disgusting you men are as human beings because no one deserves monsters in their life--and no one should go away unscathed from the sins done.

My words will be my only form of power. The time will come when I'll speak out not because I was never brave before but because I just have more power to defend myself. The power belongs to the men who think they can bring down women, but you know who between us both has the power to win.

I know I'll be stronger, or maybe I just already am.