A Gill and A Way

(Note: The original form of this poem was only the first stanza then I decided to add to it. I was inspired by the stag ladies that night of my grad ball--me included hihi.)

The Lone and Lovely by yours truly 😀

Dear, not-so-dear dear

While the world seems to look up more than our love ever did, your departure left a permanent dent to my heart already punctured with wounds from the past. No, I have not been doing fine--least the walls I once surrounded myself in and slowly broke for you revealed the harsh reality of what love is. How it seems so easy to throw away a union that you made me believe will never cease or how it is effortless for you to just walk away just when I had the strength to fight for us both. No, I haven’t been fine. Since the walls I built when I was a little girl devastated over her parents’ separation and fear for commitment demolished mercilessly, I could only focus at the ground and look at the rubble.

But it is because of the absence of all the brick & cement, fear and doubt that I finally looked at how stunning sunsets can be and how amazing it gives way for the stars to play. It made me realize how the sun will rise again, giving me a chance of another day and maybe—surely, another love. The walls are down and you are gone but that does not mean it isn’t for nothing. I always thought I was weak and would wither away but I realize I’m the one who loved you fiercely and indefinitely. I loved you at your worst. I guess the universe knew that someone out there would handle it better and that wouldn’t be you.

No, I’m not fine. I don’t get your good morning texts anymore but at least I’m greeted by the ray of sunshine assuring me that my day will be great if I allow it to. No, you don’t message me goodnight but I’ll have the cool wind and moon’s glow look after me. These are the very things I haven’t felt when my walls once stood up. These are the very things I feel now you left. So yes, I may not have you here with me, but I got the back of the universe assuring me that everything will definitely turn out fine.

Unsigned but signing off.

(Note: I wrote this and performed it in class. I want to thank my professor who gave me this challenge to write a "thank you" letter to a person who broke my heart. Went against what he expected since I decided to put some emotion. LOL!)